![]() ![]() But I seem to be extra horrible at Donkey Kong Country games. In general, despite a very long time playing video games (I got my NES in 1989), I am, by every objective and reasonable measure, horrible at them. “Stop at the edge of this bottomless death cliff” I say, and he barrels over the side and plummets to his doom, his goofy scream filling the air while another red balloon drifts into the atmosphere bursting in existential sadness. DK, on the other hand, makes me feel like I’m the corner man for a punch drunk boxer. “Stop at the edge of this bottomless death cliff” I say, and Mario dutifully bides my command with grace and aplomb and that wondrous smile. Mario, to me, feels like an extension of my being. I like the tight physics of a Mario game, the precision with which he moves and stops and can bend his jump in the air. Then another thing disintegrated into dust: my sense of self-worth, as I proceeded to finally procure Donkey Kong Country on the SNES from a Blockbuster rental and have it systematically and brutally kick my goddamn ass all weekend. I watched that video so much the magnetic tape eventually disintegrated into dust. This made me cool, at least by the standards of 1994. Look at those graphics! And that rad frog! As a Power subscriber, I had access to these previews, and to these hidden secrets of gaming before the internet. ![]() I took this cassette tape with me to a birthday party to share with friends because we were all so excited. In fact, I’m old enough to have gotten this promotional video in the mail from Nintendo Power: And that includes Donkey Kong Country games. I have been playing video games for a very long time.
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